A Botched Reunion
by justtofeel
Summary: Tamaki has been gone for so long and Kyoya doesn't know how much more he can take before he caves in. Less smut, more angst.


Kyoya felt sick to his stomach as he looked across the table at the girl who had been making eyes at him all night. Tamaki had been gone, his father had finally decided to take him on a business endeavor... but it had been a month and a half. He and Kyoya talked nearly every day, but not for very long. The time zones were too different, Tamaki had early mornings, and Kyoya had convinced himself he didn't care much. It was enough. That strategy had been working until this moment. Kyoya wasn't one who was cut out for long distance of any kind, he lived a high stress life and he was a sexual young man, he needed sex and he needed it often. It kept him well balanced. His physical needs often surpassed both his logic and his emotions, taking over until he gave in. Before Tamaki, this is exactly how he'd taken out his sexual frustration; he'd find some girl at his father's business dinners and they'd sneak off in the form of Kyoya being a good host... it was as easy as that to have them underneath him. To have a bit of mindless sex… and then he'd never see the girl again. It was unhealthy, but Kyoya didn't care, it suited his needs.

Until Tamaki. Until he'd finally fallen for his best friend. Tamaki had taken care of Kyoya's needs... he kept up with Kyoya and sometimes even went past what the Ootori expected out of his once innocent lover. He loved Tamaki, he really did. He didn't want anyone else… His heart belonged to the warm and comforting blond. He belonged to his smile and the way he'd taken Kyoya out of the shadows of his failures. Tamaki had broken down Kyoya's walls and given him everything he needed. But their relationship was a secret and sometimes strained if one or the other was just too busy to be there. There would never be a time where Kyoya didn't love Tamaki, and he wanted to be faithful... but tonight his body had other plans. He hadn't had sex in two months... and his hand didn't even come close to what he needed. The girl sitting across from him had been devouring him with her amber eyes all evening; she was probably a slutty brat like the rest... Not seeing past the boy's physique and the sheen of his glasses. She was nothing more than another customer. Still, Kyoya couldn't help wanting her to devour something entirely different. And it was making him sick. He couldn't eat, he couldn't think properly and every time Tamaki popped into his head his stomach lurched and he nearly gagged. He'd had more than a glass of champagne.

But that wasn't stopping him from getting up at the end of dinner. It wasn't stopping him from walking to her, asking her if she'd like to see the manor. Anger was blinding him, blending with lust and alcohol, anger at himself… and anger at Tamaki. All these nights he'd needed him so much and Tamaki didn't even bother to end his calls with an "I love you". It was unlike the blond… And it was unlike Kyoya to dwell on it. He started to hate what Tamaki had done to him. How soft he'd become. How breakable. How weak. How needy. He needed his lover and it was tearing him apart. And here was this girl. The look in her eyes disgusted him, but it excited his body, lust clouding his mind, anger justifying him in some sick way. He could nearly see the lewd thoughts flashing through her irises. If only amber could be violet. Tamaki. His heart broke and his stomach churned... but her hand brushed over the front of his pants and no matter how sick he felt he led her to his room. She bit her lip and he could feel her eyes lingering on his crotch. Tamaki. She shoved him into the door and took his lips in a rough kiss, smearing cherry red on his fair skin. Her teeth tugged too hard, her tongue sloppily assaulting him. Her eagerness and inexperience turning him off more and more. He shoved her off and she took it as a playful fight… That's what he let her think as he turned the knob. Tamaki… His face, his smile… How many times had they stumbled into the room just like this? Except they were always in one another's arms, "I love you"s and "I want you"s blending into one. Layers of passion and love and care all building under the lust… It was as if Kyoya wasn't aware until now. What was he doing? She hit the bed and tugged him down by his tie as he flipped the stereo on softly... to drown the way she was mewling, all too high pitched and whiny, nothing like the soft sighs he missed. She grabbed his ass and made his bulge grind into her. It was so wrong… Tamaki would be broken if he found out… How many times had Kyoya told Tamaki he was his everything? It was still true. But here he was. He was still getting hard for this girl under him... Her skirt all the way off, curvy legs replacing strong. Tamaki... it was fading now as she bit his lip, the buzz he'd gotten was taking the edge off the pain, she whispered "Condom?" Like he'd ever fuck her without it. The thought made him get soft again, a grimace crossing his face. For a moment he looked at her, she wasn't even that attractive, especially not with makeup smeared across her face… but god, she was so warm… Maybe if he closed his eyes he could just pretend. His head was pounding; he didn't even hear his phone buzzing softly on the nightstand as he wrenched the drawer open and produced what she'd asked for, going through the motions.

His fingers touched the lube in the same drawer and he was almost sick right there, memories flooding his mind. A song came on... one he'd remember Tamaki humming softly one morning when he woke up next to him. It was too much. All the good memories, he was lucky enough to be with his best friend and he was giving it all away for a girl he would never see again… a girl he had no interest in. A girl that was everything Kyoya didn't want. He wanted Tamaki. Kyoya growled as his heart kept breaking. All the lonely nights collapsed in on him, every tear he'd held back when Tamaki said he had to go after another five minute call. He couldn't do this. Not to Tamaki. He just couldn't.

He sat up, feeling more disgusting than he ever had. She sat up too, what was her fucking name? Kyoya couldn't remember. "Baby, what's wrong? Come here." It was sickeningly ingenuine, she didn't care but still she touched his face and at the very same moment he heard the door swing open. "Kyoya? You didn't pick up your phone so I decided to just come over. I brought you someth-" Tamaki... there stood the blond, Kyoya and the girl underneath him both frozen in place. Kyoya still had the fucking condom in his hand... The brilliant smile meant for Kyoya and Kyoya alone faded as Tamaki took in the sight that should have never been. "Tamaki..." his name jerked the blond out of his shock. Kyoya saw a hundred different emotions before Tamaki turned and walked out of the room as fast as he could without a word. "Well, that was awkward... You'll have to explain this away hm?" She tried to tug him back down… The girl... what was her name... "Alaina... I have to go fix this. I apologize; feel free to use my personal bathroom for your needs." Kyoya put himself back together quickly, wiping off as much of the cherry red lipstick as he could. He was losing him. He'd been weak one time and now he was losing him. The Ootori could have punched something, Tamaki was all he wanted and now he'd ruined them. He could already feel the process starting. He was tearing himself apart. This wasn't worth it; it had never been worth it. God. Tamaki could have come five minutes later and Kyoya would have already come to his senses… But now it was too late.

He grabbed his phone and a jacket, and immediately called Tamaki. He didn't know where to go. He doubted Tamaki would have gone home, he never found that place comforting. Not to Haruhi's her dad would be home by this time… Kyoya was on the verge of panicking as he stood on the front terrace, not sure of what to do. And then he heard it. Tamaki's ringtone. No sooner had he closed his phone was he being punched. "You lying bastard!" Kyoya looked at Tamaki, half expecting to be punched again… But he watched as Tamaki's anger gave way to devastation as he held his own hand, sore from the blow. "How long?" He sounded broken and Kyoya could have died on the spot, his heart breaking. He'd done this and now he'd have to face it. "How long have you been fucking her in the same bed…" Tamaki stopped short, but Kyoya knew the rest of his sentence. He could plug in a million different words and each hurt worse than the last, the unsaid words hurt more than the rest. Kyoya took a step closer to Tamaki, but Tamaki took a step back, shaking his head. "Don't you dare, Kyoya." Tamaki wasn't even looking at him. "Tamaki… I never-" "What Kyoya? You never meant to hurt me?!" Tamaki spat the words at Kyoya, pain straining his voice, "You never meant for me to find you with your little-" "I never fucked her! We never had sex; I don't even remember her fucking name." Tamaki looked more confused than ever, hurt. "What? Then what was that? Do you just mount random women Kyoya?" The anger built in Tamaki's voice and Kyoya didn't know what to say to make it stop. He needed it to stop.

"No. Not since you. Tamaki, I messed up. But I never had sex with her or anyone else while you were away." Tamaki glared at Kyoya and the Ootori had never felt smaller. "Her skirt was off, she was in your bed. You're covered in her lipstick… You smell like her perfume…" Tamaki's voice started to break, tears forming in his eyes. Kyoya felt tears burning in his eyes too, and he let them fall. "It didn't look… like she was raping you Kyoya… What am I supposed to think?" The last words he said were so soft, "I really missed you Kyoya… You were all I thought about while I was away. Every night I missed our nights together… And I was so excited to come and see you…" It was everything Kyoya had so desperately needed to hear. All those days… His shoulders shook as frustration boiled into sadness and desperation. One more day, if he'd just waited one more day for Tamaki it would have made up for every wretched night he was left wondering if Tamaki still loved him. But Kyoya was a day too weak and Tamaki was a day too late. What could the Shadow King say? That he'd missed Tamaki every second of every day? That every night he lay down and dreamt of Tamaki's arms. That he'd missed his best friend, his lover? That every day Tamaki was away he took a bit of Kyoya's sanity with him? How could he ever tell Tamaki that now? After what he'd just done? After what Tamaki had just seen? "And then I came here and caught you in the middle of stripping some poor clueless girl. And you have nothing to say for yourself." Kyoya took another step forward and this time Tamaki didn't back away, instead he took a step towards Kyoya and hugged him. And Kyoya hugged him right back… crying.

"Tamaki… You're the only one I love. The only one I ever wanted. Please…" Kyoya begged him to see it. Begged him to understand that he would never want anyone else, that this would never happen again. That it didn't even happen this time… He couldn't have done it, it just took him too long to realize.

"Kyoya… I love you… I love you so much. But I can't trust you anymore… Not like I used to. Not after this. I won't live like that with you." Kyoya's heart shattered and he couldn't breathe. Tamaki let go, and ceased to hold Kyoya together, leaving him shattered and defenseless "I'll miss you, mon amour." Tamaki gave his ex-boyfriend a broken smile, one Kyoya couldn't return. "...See you at school." And then Tamaki turned away... he walked off without even a glance back. Kyoya had lost him… The light that pulled him away from the darkness had gone out, his best friend was gone. He'd made one stupid choice... and he couldn't feel his heart anymore.


End file.
